Oftentimes, the loss of loved ones comes unexpectedly. When something like that happens, the bereaved family would probably want to pause their busy lives and take a break. They would want to dwell in the pain and sorrow of losing a loved one. Ironically however, in reality, it is hard to do so. In fact, the bereaved family actually ends up having to do even more work, work that many of the family members have no experience with in the first place. Despite having lost direction, despite having no headspace, and despite feeling lost and confused, the bereaved are frequently thrust into a situation where they are forced into doing even more work. The process can be especially difficult for those who are not proficient with English. In the end, under the weight of losing a loved one and crumpling under the pressure of reality, the unprepared bereaved family falls. I know that if I were in such a situation, I would fall to my knees in exasperation.
The funeral process is not easy. Still, throughout the past funerals our church had to go through, we had experienced the grace of God. Each time, our church as a whole collectively mourned and helped the bereaved. Those who had already lost a loved one helped with the logistical aspect while many others also volunteered and helped where they could. I was especially surprised to see people helping in places I had never thought of before. It was apparent that unlike with me, such aspects were visible to them. Besides logistical help, many people also got up to comfort and console the bereaved, becoming a pillar in which the family could rest their weight.
I believe that small communities such as mokjangs display greater power in such situations. Although we may be able to provide logistical help, without the close and personal relationships within mokjang members, we would not be able to provide consolation to the hearts of the bereaved. The same advice has more power when it comes from someone who is close to you. By actively involving themselves like it's their own issue and by spending time with the bereaved, mokjang members can provide a lot of comfort that strangers simply cannot.
On February 11th, our beloved sister in Christ, Jeongbyung Oh, passed away. The moment was as painful as it was abrupt. However, looking back, the grace of God was again present throughout every moment. As the pastor, I was able to see those who willingly became passageways to convey that grace of God. I became grateful once again that we have such ‘familyness’ in our community.
Following the shepherd…
Pastor Jiwon Choi